For those of you who watch Scrubs, this should make sense. The rest of you? Why the hell are you not watching Scrubs? Are you high? Scrubs rocks! It is brilliant and witty and downright hysterical. Comedy Central, 7 p.m. weeknights, two episodes in a row (at least here in Sac...if that is not correct for you, Mr. Yahoo has a nice TV section that should be able to help you figure it out). Seriously.
Um, where was I before my Scrubs tangent? Watch it!! Bah, am easily distracted by television apparently (I know, duh). Will focus now, and consider not writing in choppy fragments.
On that show, our leading doctor, JD, narrates most episodes (every once in awhile another character gets a chance, but we mostly get us some Zach Braff), and really, his whole life. I'm not sure if I've ever fully admitted this (and what are the Internets for but intensely personal and humiliating confessions?), but I have a tendency to do the same thing. More often than not, I narrate more than just the present, but the potential future. By the way, this is mostly an internal monologue, not me wandering around describing every situation aloud, I swear. Mostly.
Except when I'm in the car alone. I may tell people I'm singing, but maybe I'm not. And maybe I'm only pretending I'm on my cell phone. Hmm.
Or not. You decide how colorful you think I truly am.
I see having various conversations with my nieces when they are adults (in these conversations, they are telling me that I was always the fun aunt and they hang on my every story and bits of advice...oh, and they always tell me that I still look younger than their mother). I see varying scenarios with my own children (in one version I have boys, in the other girls...but always 2 children...one is not enough, and I'll be too old to have more than 2 by the time I really get to...if anyone lets me, after this post). That's all standard stuff...football practices, birthday parties, springing them from juvie.
Of course, I also see my college graduation (that is called visualization people...it might be the only way I can get through it), my first marathon, my first home.
OK, now I know this sounds much more like run of the mill day-dreaming. To bring it back to the point - you know, to The Crazy - I will also tell you that in my head, I am referring to myself and everyone else in the third person. As if I'm writing the novel of my life.
Yes, my internal monologue is just as stream of consciousness as this post. And random. And batshit crazy.
I once tried (for about 45 minutes) to carry one of those micro casette recorders around so that I would remember all of the pearls I come up with throughout the day. But between forgetting to turn the sucker on and listening later and exclaiming, "what the fuck am I talking about? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD," I thought better of it (and realized everyone else thinks the same thing, every time I talk).
I think the point to all of this is obvious: JD needs a blog.